Atlas of My Memories

不晓得为何心灵总是空虚，为何脚步变得沉重，前方渐渐与我远去。。。

有如我身在一膄永远到不到岸的轻舟上，茫茫人海，我究竟属于哪里？

是我变了？还是我跟不上时代的步伐？

很努力地尝试去改变自已，但到头来得到的只是海市蜃楼。

很想做回高中的我，从来不会有这种感觉。

当一个人失去了心灵时，他与行尸走肉没有什么分别，

我想我已到达了那个境界。

妈妈刚给我来电，我很想告诉她我又考到很差的成绩，

但我却说不出口，

不想伤了她的心，更不想家人为我担忧。

我已不再是那个曾经让他们引以为傲的黄毛小子，

我辜负了所有人对我的期望，

骗了全世界，但骗不了自已，

现在的我只是一个没有心灵的假面。

团歌又悠悠地响起了，

激励我得向前迈进；

当你我已经厌倦，

当承诺已将枯谢，

有说放弃未免太可惜；

多少次凝望着你，

多少次我问自已，

是否一切已成定局我告诉自已，

绝对不是！！

剩下两个月的时间去打拚，

我得破釜又沉舟。。。

I'm writing this post in the Uni library after having a quick look on Human Development textbook. Initially, I'm planning to find some clues for my interview next week but nothing in the book and when I'm in the border of disappointment, a topic in the book attracts me......

Love Relationship......What is love???I'm sure everyone encounter this question ever and ever again in their life. Some might have their answers but some are not. Love is one of those things everybody feels but nobody can define COMPLETELY. In an interesting series of studies, Sternberg found that love has three basic component: 1) passion, an intense physiological desire for someone; 2) intimacy, the feeling that one can share all one's thoughts and actuions with another; 3) commitment, the willingness to stay with a person through good and bad times. Ideally, a true love relationship will have all three components and a balance between them is very important to maintain a happier relationship.

Normally early in a romantic relationship, passion is usually high wheareas intimacy and commitment tend to be low. This is an infatuation (an intense, physically based relationship in which the two poeple have a high risk of misunderstanding and jealousy. As time goes, as passion fades, either a relationship acquires emotional intimacy or it's likely to end. Trust, honesty, openness, and acceptance must be a part of any strong relationship; when they are present, romantic love develops.

Everybody wants to be loved by somebody, but actually having it happen is fraught with difficulties. We need to remember that love is two-sided: it can give you great ecstasy and so can it cause you great pain. Yet, most of us are willing to take the risk like me. So, how do people fall in love???? I found the answer in the theory of assortative mating, which states that people finds partners based on their similarity to each other. Interesting right, it states that healthy people tend to be in relationship with healthy people and same goes to level of education. Does this mean that a doctor wont have a good marriage with a dancer as they dont have same level of education?????

Another interesting theory mentions that people apply three filters when they meet someone: 1) Stimulus, do the person's physical appearance, social class and manners match your own? 2) Values, do the person's values regarding sex, religion, politic match yours? 3) Role, do her ideas about relationship, communication style, gender role match yours? If the answer to all is "yes", then you are likely to form a couple. I found that it's easy to say than do for these theories. We might found someone who matches all three filters but she/he doesn't like you, then how??

Another interesting fact, research shows that women tends to choose a more mascular man as a person with whom to have an exciting short-term relationship BUT tend to select a more feminine looking men for their husband or as the type of man their parents would want them to date. So should men be mascular or feminine??????

I'm not asking everyone to follow whatever theories or books to find your love ones. Loving someone is coming out from feeling but not based on the theory. But these theories will help you to understand more about a relationship and how to maintain it effectively. Loving someone is easy but to be loved by someone is not easy.

It's time for me to have my lunch and continue my day. Do leave some comments as what you think about love or regarding this post =)

Having a debate about our current politic with one senior last night. So geram, he just can't get what I mean.

First, I do love my own country! Who does not love his own country in which SHE accompanies them to grow up. Malaysia is a beautiful country with abundant of natural resources ad free of natural disaster but sadly to say, our government is so corrupted, racist and incapable. Ok, you might say that I'm on BN's JPA scholarship and I should be royal to them by showing my support to them. Think out of the box, I should not care about which government, either BN or Pakatan Rakyat gives me scholarship as they are the money from tax payer and I should support the party that will make a better future for ALL MALAYSIANs.

ONE MALAYSIA is a good idea but it's not effectively being applied now. For example, some principal in M'sia can ask Cina Babi and Indian Anjing (chinese is pig & Indian is dog) to go back China and India and forbid them to eat in front of muslims in Ramadhan Month. They even laughed at you by saying Airasia is having promotion now to China and India. How pathetic for such thing to happen in 21st century and 53 years after our country independence. Im sure Tuanku Abdul Rahman will jump out from the coffin now to kill those racists. I was so angry when I saw lots of Malays even support the principal who mentioned those racist sentences and support her to chase other races out of M'sia. Why they never think that if without the chinese and indian, M'sia will never get independence from the British 53 years ago. It was the union of 3 races to fight for independence and a place where we all call HOME.

Due to this, don't that the principal should be detained by ISA (Internal Security Act) for causing racist chaos????But it didn't happen and government keep using ISA to detain other opposition leaders. This explains why so many talented people choose to go oversea instead of staying back in M'sia. For example, USB is invented by Malaysian. But he is not working in M'sia, he works in Taiwan with $US20 billion every year. Malaysia doesn;t want him at the first place as he is from private chinese school and he went to Taiwan to study. Another example, the assistant Dean professor of Shang Hai University is Malaysian too who can't even be the course coordinator back in University Malaya last time. It is so hilarious as that Shang Hai Uni is top in Times Uni Ranking while UM is out of 200. Sigh, our country is really sick.

Our government keeps spending money in a wrong way and over corrupted. Spending few billions on submarine and yet those broken submarine cant dive in the water....Even the engines of army jets can be stolen and sold to other nations. At the end, the government just need to find some people to admit its dark side and settle everything.

I didnt say that pakatan rakyat will be the best government, but it is better than BN now. And we, malaysian deserve a better future for our beloved country. I would give a chance to the opposition to make a change to our country and see. After 53 years of BN governs, our country is still so far behind than other nations. Singapore is having kinda similar independence period with us, but they're so far in front of us now. Why???We should know the answer in our heart.

I do hope that racism will never appear on our future nation anymore. We should not distinguish ourselves as chinese, malays or indian as all of us are malaysian. Everyone should get the same rights in everything include bidding government project, buying properties, getting scholarships...It would be great to give out scholarship according to the results rather than the skin colour. Then, everyone will be more than willing to return to M'sia to serve the country.

We love you, Malaysia. Let's us have our rights and voice back. Make the freedom flows back like a river. We need a CHANGE!!!!!!!

享受是必须付出代价的，现在我落后三个星期的课程，得天天读书追回了。。。考试又要来临了，真的很讨厌考试，如果考试分数都没有算，多么的好，无须天天读书。。。:(