My Life

If anyone ask me to describe my life as first year medical student in Monash, I will answer by saying "Pathetic yet Boring"........
I really don't like my life now, I miss my secondary school life eventhough had more subjects to concern about than now...I had 13 subjects with 29 papers but now only got ONE exam and ONE paper...Should be happy right???Less papers, less worry...But I do feel like I'm not who I'm!!!!!!!
My daily routines start by going to lectures, then tutorials and Lab/Prac/Workshop/PCL....Feel like having many stuffs to study but sometimes I do feel dunno what to do, my mind really goes blank as if all my brain cells are killed. Yesterday, being taught 7 anatomy chapters within two hours (CRAZY), I ended up learning nothing, some subjects are really useless for me and I find that no point to study like sociology(zero learning), Health Enhancement Program(Mindfullness until mind stop functioning). Besides, I don't like my clinical skills tute as we can't understand the tutor teaching, what we ask, he can't get; what he answer, we don't understand( maybe that's why i FAILED my clinical skill exam). And the Practicals are totally waste of time, before and after the prac makes no different to me. I always end up learning nothing, same goes to PCL as well.
Haiz, I hate my life now..................................................................
I don't feel I'm a medical student now. My life seems like doesn't have any direction, God pls be my light, guide me through this boring life. Whenever I want to study, I have no idea what to study as I'm not sure what is my syallabus also, a bit immunology, pathology, histology, anaotmy, sociology, HEP, genetics, Pharmacology, Microbes, and many other bio stuffs.....
My life is not like a life.....Just hope that tomorrow will be better.....